Mark Twain once suggested that we rejoice at a birth and weep at a funeral because we are not the person involved, and that, along with the cartoon you see here, is about as close to my philosophy of life as you're ever gonna get. So guess what? I'm kind of shockingly sad to be leaving Gawker. There will be tears. Who… »
"Have you planned anything for your last day?" asked Gawker emperor Nick Denton the other afternoon. "Jessica set a very high bar when she left, and you need to exceed it." Nick was referring to former Gawker editor Jess Coen's departure day, when she famously took the opportunity to excoriate Joe Dolce for being a… »
Glaring Omissions reproduces tips received from readers in the last week that weren't covered on Gawker, either by accident (it happens!) or by design (it happens more often). »
And we have a winner. Ya know, if we knew you people would do this kind of thing for us, we never would have looked for another job in the first place. »
Each week, our commenters blab and blab and blab. We used to reward them arbitrarily with a night in our Gold Star Motel. But that was just to get them to shut up. Who will listen to them? Who will care? Not us! But we know who cares: Crazed uber-commenter — and Gawker employee! Oh, the scandal! — LolCait cares! »
Our story thus far: Balk and Cock, a pair of itinerant internet laborers, wind up working at Old Man Denton's Gawker farm. Though comically oversized, Cock is simple-minded and unaware of his own strength; Balk looks after him and tries to keep him out of trouble. Unfortunately, Cock cannot help his impulses. First he… »
From the mailbag: "DO NOT LEAVE US." Couple more cleavage-and-booze shots like these, possibly more revealing, and possibly with the brown liquors, and I'll consider it. »
Remember how on her last day as Gawker Editor Jess Coen posted lots of pictures of adorable puppies and kittens? Well, it's my last day but I fucking hate animals. So here's a picture with two of my favorite things: cleavage and alcohol. Enjoy! If anyone out there has a picture of hot nude girls drinking Wild Turkey… »
"In town for a new product launch this week, Starbucks chief executive Howard Schultz implied that New Yorkers were wholeheartedly embracing the changing character of their city. Asked just how many Starbucks locations he thinks the city can support, Schultz discussed the many emails he gets requesting new stores." Uh,… »
I opened up my e-mail this morning and saw a subject line that read "Good morning from your first fan." Here it is:
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and wishing you the best in all that you do.
I have no idea how I'm gonna get through my last day at work here without crying. Or puking. … »
Anyone who can sing the line "Fuck me? Girl, fuck you!" and make it SMOOTH is a talent for whom no superlative is too laudatory. That is all.
Convicted fraudster Conrad Black is making the most of things while he remains free pending appeal: He recently filmed a segment for the Canadian humor program "The Rick Mercer Report." Black instructs viewers on how to "wax" maple leaves, which is apparently something they do for fun in Canada. The clip is actually… »
Time's Josh Tyrangiel on Radiohead's plan to let fans choose what they'll pay for their first new album since leaving EMI: "In an industry stuck in the financial equivalent of Hurricane Alley, In Rainbows is more than just a storm. 'This could be the mother of them all,' e-mailed an A.-and-R. executive at a major… »
Remember Bearforce1, the world's first all-bear Dutch synth-disco boi-band? Of course you do! Well, they're in New York for their big American appearances, and our Rod Townsend and Nick McGlynn sat down with the bears last night for an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW (as they say in the tabloids) that includes a live a cappella… »
BalkerStalker: You still going to post comments on Gawker once you leave?
Balk BTW: I dunno. I think it would sort of feel like being that guy who still hangs around high school after high school.
BalkerStalker: Yeah. Hate those guys.
BalkerStalker: What about your cock?
Balk BTW: My Cock hangs around high schools NOW.